


Does An Angel Contemplate My Fate?

by ThatOneMawile



Series: I Know That Life Won't Break Me [1]
Category: The Evil Within (Video Game)
Genre: Angel!Au, Angel!Sebastian, Angst, F/M, How about reincarnated angels, Kinda, Lots of it, M/M, Not A Happy Ending, Reincarnation, TEW Hoilday Gift Exchange, The captain is the most badass character in this, a few happy memories, also im blaming todd for my love of this game, but everyone lives, but im a mess lol, but its mainly angst, did i tag reincarnation?, half the time, im sad she only gets one scene, more than half but still, no?, thanks TEW2!, they are cool, which is canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 08:27:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13073040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatOneMawile/pseuds/ThatOneMawile
Summary: Everyone had an Angel - that much was true. But no one every said life would be easy with a guide, and losing yours was a sign of an early death. Joseph Oda isn't any different in those ways, but he's the first to see to see his angel after disappeared 10 years earlier... kinda.or... a Angel!AU of TEW where Joseph honestly needs a break and his angel back. Sebastian is honestly just as confused as the rest of us half the time about why he's the reincarnated one.





	Does An Angel Contemplate My Fate?

**Author's Note:**

> This is a gift for Tokyo✘Nightmare on Discord as part of the The Evil Within Holiday Gift Exchange, I hope you like it!
> 
> What do I say... I kinda hate this. It's my longest one-shot and written in a more normal style than my usual one which I have finally realized is the only way I can write but I love the idea and the Prompt, which out of the 3 I got I did Angel!AU. It's also my first piece for the series and the characters are so OOC I can't even apologize at this point it's so bad.
> 
> Title and Series name from Angels by Robbie Williams aka one of the best songs ever created and kinda perfect for this.
> 
> As usual I'm from NZ so I use weird sayings/spellings which might pop up and I hope you enjoy!

Snow was a common luxury in Toronto, and while growing up Joseph realized in it. Every time it snowed he’d waddle out at any opportunity, leaving his parents panicked and confused when their son practically sprinted for the door. Born on the cusp of the years change his first few memories were of the glossy snow outside - specifically the isolation of it, and the fact that Joseph  _ loved _ it.

 

There was never anyone else outside with him apart from his parents, and even they let him play in the locked yard while they kept an eye on him from inside after making sure he was fully prepared for the cold (They were loving but almost neglectful - Joseph didn't mind, they were supportive in everything he had ever wanted to do.) Simple snow castles made of snow and stones adorned the yard before the next downpour and Joseph was always content to paddle around in the snow and build.

 

As Joseph admired his latest work (an wonky but sturdy dog made from snow) he realised he needed something to make a proper tail with… but the yard was studiously empty and without digging through the snow that surrounded the house Joseph knew with a heavy heart that he would never find a good stick before he had to go inside again. His shoulders sagged, and he slowly padded towards the front door.

 

“Kid - Catch” Joseph spun around to see the stick fall right at his feet, perfect in length for what he wanted for the dog. Leaning against the house was a teen, clearly no older than 16 and dressed in a long coat that hit his calf - Joseph had seen no one like him in his life, and the older teens’s golden eyes  _ glisten _ at Joseph as the snow specks their vision.

 

He knows he's grinning in wonder but he can't help it - childish glee and supernatural bonds are a high he never thought possible, but the teen starts to turn away into the dark snowy abiss further along, and before he turns into a beige blur Joseph finds himself holding onto a long coat sleeve that up close covers up to much his arm.

 

“What’s your name?”

 

The teen pauses but doesn't turn. It's a long time before he exclaims an answer into the abyss around them, and Joseph's grip falters - The teen-  _ Sev  _ is gone before he can process the words and Joseph finds himself alone in overly deep snow with a warm ache in his gut that wasn't there before Sever had appeared in the yard.

 

Small hands brush along the forgotten wood, and he murmurs his thanks to the abyss around him before heading inside, adjusting the stick onto his snowdog as he passes it.

 

It falls and rolls away, but there is no one around to see a beige figure replace it more securely this time. 

 

A week later his sister kicks the stick as she skips by, the snow dog long gone but the stick still remains fallen where the dog used to be.

 

* * *

 

_ “Mama whats an angel?” He’s hugging her, dimly aware of his mother's arms around him as he nestles into her and peers at the book in front of him. He has heard the story every night since he was old enough to remember, and every night he asks the same question without an answer. _

 

_ “Joseph... “ _

 

_ “I wanna know Mama! You never tell me - I’m old enough now!” His mother is greeted with his full pout or disapproval, little fists clenched and bottom lip wobbling. _

 

_ She sighs, and finally gives in to her son’s demands “Every human has an angel who follows them through life my dear,” She rubs his head, amused that Joseph is about to doze off on the one night she was willing to tell him the tale. “These angels teach us all we need to know for our own lives, and our own lives alone. The lessons are unique just like each angel.” _

 

_ “Where's your angel Mama?”  _

 

_ “She’s not always here - but she visits only to teach me something new. You cannot see anyone elses angel my dear… nor can any angles affect our world.” His eyes scrunch up as he tries to work her words out, but he can't help himself glance around the room just once to see if he can see his angel. _

 

_ “Joseph my dear… An angel cannot pick up that book on the shelf and move it - then others would be able to see their work. Do you understand?” _

 

_ Joseph nods, and the edges of his vision swim with darkness. However he works up the energy to ask one last question - “Wheres my angel? _

 

_ “You will meet them very soon my dear… trust me.” _

 

* * *

 

Whoever thought it was a good idea to let the 10 year old chop wood shouldn't ever be given control of kids, but somehow Joseph finds himself with the dishonorable duty of chopping up logs while at his aunt and uncle’s farm out of the city. He doesn’t have any idea what to do other than not chop his own limbs off, his hands are awkwardly gripping the center of the axe without any clue on what to do and no one around to help him.

 

Joseph is already sweeting hard (Not that it took much to get him that way, being from a cold climate) and the sun had yet to reach the peak in the sky. Any attempt Joseph had made was futile, and the logs stubbornly didn't split under his half-hearted swings. He only had one hope though - since his birthday had just passed he was hoping he might get a hand from the only person who knew what to do.  

 

“Ready to take notes?” Joseph lets out a true laugh at that and pulls out a notebook and pen from his sachual nearbye. 

 

“Yup. Are you helping me?” 

 

“I’ll be teaching you-” Joseph pouts at Sev, sweat and bark scraps making him quite a sad sight. “That look doesn’t work on me and you know-” He cranks it up a notch, batting his eyes at him and Sev melts. 

 

“Fine. I’ll still be showing you how to do it though. You can't force me to do all the work here.” Sev says, and he grabs the axe from Joseph’s hands. Quiding Joseph’s own hands onto the axe at proper intervals, he helps him swing it and shows him where to hit to split the wood correctly. Once he’s sure Joseph knows how to swing it he pulls back and smiles.

 

“Try swinging higher - Up here.” He holds his hand at head height of an adult and Joseph swings, the axe thundering through the air. Just before he hits Sev’s hand the angel flinches back, out of his reach and the axe swings harmlessly through the air. 

 

Sev grabs the axe from him again, and his mouth twitches up into a honest smile. “Nice work Joe Joe, but I’ll be taking it from here. Go inside and hang out with your cousins.”

 

Joseph nods, and heads towards the house. For a split second he falters and calls back at Sev. 

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Just don’t count on me always being there” he gets in reply, and with a slightly heavy heart he heads back inside.

 

* * *

 

12 and bulletproof, he had foolishly agreed to go on a camping trip with his friends. Then he had agreed to go  _ tramping _ with them. Up a snowy mountain nonetheless, too close to Christmas and Joseph’s birthday for it to be very safe he found himself the last in the group to climb a particularly dangerous section of the mountainside - jagged rocks and a ravine to boot, he still foolishly agreed to going  _ last _ .

 

At first the rocks weren’t too bad - there was enough safe spaces for his feet it meant he didn't actually have to focus on his hands as much and he could safely pick his way up the clope. 

 

Joseph’s hand never makes the next handhold and then he’s  _ falling. _

 

It could've been a split second but Joseph would swear later his life flashed in front of his eyes and time slowed as his feet were dragged further into the snowy ravine below...

 

_ This is it _

 

Acceptance is futile but the only thing he has left to give, and he does until a strong hand wraps around his arm and hauls him up,  _ somehow _ , where the slippery rocks and snow can’t stop them. Joseph is too high on the moment to understand just how he’s being pulled up, but as soon as he’s sprawled and safe on the ground he understands just who saved him. Unchanged as always, golden eyes peer worriedly at him as Sev hovers near him checking for injuries. 

 

Beige limbs pull him up to his feet, and Sev quickly helps Joseph make his way down the path he had just climbed, practically pushing Joseph against the safe cliffside and preventing any chance of him falling again, all without worlds. It didn’t annoy him as much as it normally would have - He could barely concentrate on anything but Sev’s hands on his shoulders and the feel of leather flopping against his own cargo pants. As magical as always Sev is pristine, and he hauls Joseph to safety, rocks shifting as they  _ both  _ make their way down. 

 

He’s warm in his room with Sev still looming over his shoulder and a nursing a warm coffee after everything when he finally starts to feel the adrenaline fade and replaced by fear, and his own widened dark eyes meet the young ones of Sev 

“Thank you… I thought I was dead”

 

Worry melts from his angel’s eyes and he's reminded just how young Sev looks - 14, maybe slightly older but still lankey and his eyes almost as innocent as a newborns which just adds to more questions than answers he knows he can get.

 

“...you almost were.” His voice is low and pained as he replies.

 

“I’m so sorry” Joseph says.

 

Sev nods and turns away, but Joseph can see his trench coat twitch, giving away his obvious stress. 

 

_ Why do you care so much?  _ “What would happen to you if I…” He can’t bring himself to say it, the present too close to the reality that he came so very close to dying only an half hour ago.

 

Sev shrugs and pulls out a chair for himself opposite Joseph, swinging off his coat (He wasn't even sure Sev could even take it  _ off _ ) and draping it on his chair. When he sits down however Joseph spys a glance at his wings, the same colour as the coat and pulled tightly behind him. “I honestly have no idea… I’d probably die with you.”

 

“Why though?”

 

“We’re guardians who follow rules and we have to help - we can’t intera-” 

 

“You can.” Joseph interrupts, and Sev  _ smirks  _ at him while shrugging on his coat, defiantly trying  _ not _ to show his wings that are very obviously there. 

 

“Do I though?” He stands, and heads for the door before pausing one final time.

 

“Just don't die on me next time?”

 

Joseph doesn't have any time to respond before he’s gone to the wind, and the others find Joseph alone in a cabin facing the chair when they return, coffee long cold.

 

(Afterward he gets home he trains - from pull ups to push ups, strengthening his arms down to his own paranoid fear and the a hope - a hope that he never has to hold on to anything while his life depends on it ever again.)

 

* * *

 

“You shouldn’t let them get to you like that. Don’t leave yourself as the one who has to pick up the pieces after a fight.” Joseph is struggling to stand up from his place in the snow, left there after a group of the town bullies took a liking to his face as Sev starts speaking, the angel leaning against the nearby veranda. 

 

Joseph actually scoffs at his tone. “What was I supposed to do? They weren't going to just let me walk away”

 

“You’re smarter than them - but they underestimated you.”

 

“Neither of us know that.” And it’s true - he's not sure exactly how Sev knows all these things as it seems he disappears for good between visits.  

 

“They were quaking in their boots when you almost snapped back”  _ Huh  _ He didn't know what the said about Sev that he noticed it, and his golden eyes were practically flaring up and melting with how bright they were right now. 

 

“What are you trying to say I do next time?” They both know it will happen again - Joseph is just the perfect target for the bullies, and he’d already proved himself to not fight back.

 

“Use your brain - come up with an insult. Defend yourself. Don't let them get into your head like that.”

 

Joseph drops to the nearby bench and sighs, Sev soon joining him in silence. “I can’t come up with insults on the fly.”

 

“Who says you can’t?” The angel questions.

 

“I do - and my mother, father, sist-”

 

“You care far too much about what people think.” Sev huffs, pulling Joseph and himself up off the cold bench and brushing their coats down. It annoying how they collect the snow, and Joseph has never cared much for the temperature being born and raised in snowy climates (It had left him leave him more immune than most to low temperatures) and while he figures Sev as an angel doesn't need his coat at all both of them stick with it, mainly because of looks.

 

“Well… I learnt it from you.”

 

Sev’s answering smirk almost reaches his eyes.

 

“Goodbye Joe Joe” 

 

… And he’s gone.

 

It doesn't occur to Joseph until far too long later that something was wrong in that moment, and he can't confirm his fears until the next year.

 

_ Sev never says goodbye. _

 

* * *

 

Joseph wakes up in 2000 with a hole in his gut and freezing hands where he's never experienced either. He doesn't have answers, 16 and all too young to be worrying about the fact he’s pretty sure his angel just stopped appearing to him. Sev had never stayed for long before nor did he appear frequently but the times he did gave Joseph joy that he had not experienced since his sister had died. 

 

He doesn't have time to worry about it, too busy having to get up early to get to his morning job he started to keep his mind off Sev and his sister after last year, and the realisation that he’s  _ gone _ hasn't set in yet.

 

As soon as his mind stops delaying it everything comes back to him in full force however, and Joseph Oda breaks down on his birthday in the middle of his apartment. 

 

Joseph gets a transfer to a Krimson City the next week, leaving Toronto and his ghosts behind. 

 

(He buys a pair of quality leather gloves in a tiny town he can’t care to remember on the way - They help the ever present chill in his hands, and moving to a warmer city leaves him feeling almost human again)

 

* * *

 

“You’re one of the most talented recruits we’ve had transferred here through in years Oda.” The captain pauses outside the office of his future partner and Joseph could swear that his heart was pounding far, far too hard. “And you make a brilliant detective. Frankly I believe your skills are wasted behind a desk or on a leash and I had an opening with one of the older detectives that I think you deserve.”

 

“Sir…” The Captain shakes her head and knocks once on the door. 

 

“Don’t thank me just yet Oda - I did partner you with Castellanos.”

 

_ What? _ Everyone in the precinct knew of the Castellanos’ -  A talented duo of brutal efficiency who had to be seperated just because they became a  _ husband-wife _ duo. Joseph himself hasn’t actually had an opportunity to meet either of them but he’s heard the tales. He doesn't have time to dwell on it as the door opens and the Captain literally throws a scrunched up ball of paper at the desk in front of his new partner.

 

“Castellanos - meet Detective Joseph Oda, your new partner.” Turning around to face Joseph again she mouths  _ good luck _ at him and winks. “This is Detective Sebastian Castellanos… I’ll leave you two to get to know each other then.” She whisks out of the room with all the grace of a talented dancer leaving Joseph no choice but to confront his new partner.

 

The first thing he notices is how tired the man looks - he obviously hasn't slept in days, dark hair rumpled and auburn eyes dark. He also is extremely tall and imposing - even sitting down he’s an authority figure, and the damp smell of cigarettes in the air doesn’t help. When Castellanos stands to shake Joseph’s hand he can’t help but notice the familiar beige coat draped on the chair behind him that leaves him double checking Castellanos’ eyes for a famiure golden hue. They aren’t, except a hint of gold on a familiar face. 

 

“Detective Oda?” Castellanos had noticed ( _ Why wouldn’t he he’s one of the best detectives in the city _ )

 

“Oda is fine if you want to formal, Detective Castellanos.”

 

“Oda then -” He holds out his hand, and even that’s scared and familiar “-It’s going to be a pleasure working with you”

 

_ Oh don’t I know it. _

 

* * *

 

It was all Kidman’s idea, and she had left it down to Joseph to drag Sebastian out of his apartment for the holiday season. (Somehow Sebastian's drink problems got even worse at Christmas, and Joseph swore the man should be in hospital for most of it because of the alcohol in his system - But no matter how much Seb drank, he didn't die. Or get sick for that matter.) Hopefully a night out with just the 3 of them would cheer him up for the night, or at least get him out of the house when work couldn't do it and he wasn't investigating Myra’s disappearance. 

 

Much to his annoyance however it looked like neither KIdman nor Sebastian would be cutting back on the alcohol for the night, as when they dropped into the sports bar Kidman picked (presumably for the girls) they both admediatly order whiskey and a cider before dropping into an extremely long conversation about the best bar in town.  (Out of Krimson CIty of course - Joseph isn't stupid enough to let his colleagues get drunk within their own patrol areas.) 

 

Joseph is willing to let them actively talk all night, but the hours quickly pass and the conversation shifts until it becomes more… personal. Someone (He thinks it was Kidman, but he’ll never know for sure) comes up with the genius idea to expose all their depressing pasts since everyone is already too drunk to remember it in the morning

 

“You’re up first Kid.” Sebastian said, swirling his 3rd(!) drink of the night. She hummed, and settled her own cider down on the dirty table. 

 

“I’m an orphan - It’s in my file right? My uncle adopted me after my parents died and I grew up with him. I’ve always wanted to be a cop,” she shrugs at Seb’s expression, “Probably because my parents died when I was younger. I always was good at following orders… First in my class, blah blah blah and here I am with the most typical married-couple cops anyone could imagine.”

 

Joseph actually found himself smiling at that, until he realised that Sebastian's face had darkened at the mention of marriage. Kidman didn't know better but Joseph still felt the anger pipe up at her - This night was supposed to be helping Seb get out of the house and forget not to make it worse!

However before he can do anything else Kidman is nudging Sebastian drunkenly, and the man takes the cue that it’s his turn. “I woke up in a hospital one day with no memories nor a clue to how I got there - apparently it’s uncommon. Still don't have those memories”

 

“No Angel?” It’s the first time Joseph has thought to ask - he knew a bit of the story, but not all. Seb shakes his head, and nudges Joseph because it’s his turn.

 

“My angel stopped appearing when I was 16. Destined to die I figure.” 

 

“It’s why we make great cops” Kidman notes.

 

“To the orphans and angel-less,” Sebastian’s glass clothings against Kidman and Joseph’s as he drunkenly cheers his toast before he whispered his next line. “May we all die early, destined for hollow graves.” He knows Seb didn’t mean for either of them to hear, and Kidman is far too busy eyeing up the blonde at the bar to catch it but Joseph  _ isn’t. _ He flinches at the tone but doesn't say anything, Sebastian's too drunk to have a valid conversation with and he doesn’t feel like arguing with the man - He may claim to be an unobvious drunk but Joseph knows better. He also knows that after Lily and Myra, Sebastian has been holding everything in and never letting anything slip.

 

It hurts, to see him like this, destructive and angry at a world which took everything from him and gave nothing back.

 

It’s that night he pledges to do more to help Sebastian, to make sure that nothing happens to the man because he deserves better than to fall to depression.

 

The main reason is that he personally knows the feeling of complete and utter hopelessness.

 

(He also can't escape the small part of him that screams that Sebastian Castellanos is very, very similar to his angel - but any thought of Sev is sad, so he ignores the screams. Until  _ Ruvik _ puts a stop to that.)

 

* * *

 

Seb had gone missing - he knew that. He  _ remembers  _ that, and chasing after the man through stone cold leads and a city who hated cops. It doesn't explain why he’s now in a cop car with Sebastian, Kidman and Connolly being called out to Beacon. How is he here? How is Sebastian here? The man looks no worse for wear, or at least no worse than usual. (It wasn’t hard - Seb had hit rock bottom months ago and hadn’t attempted to climb up past there really.)

 

That was all about to change though, and Joseph knew it as soon as he walked into Beacon at Seb’s side to a  _ bloodbath. _

 

* * *

 

He was hanging above a fall that would kill him if he let go - years of practice in holding on however meant he had time before he would do just that. Still, Sebastian was busy dealing with hordes of creatures and probably didn't have enough time to get to him. He’d been hanging for so long, if he just let go… No. But he was losing energy fast. So when he spys a blood coated arm grabbing his own he gladfully helps Seb pull him up. Both of them are covered head to toe in goop, Sebastian especially in the green goop the man gleefully bottles up from dead creatures, so he doesn't hug Seb even though eh really feels like it. 

 

“Thank you Seb-”

 

“No problem Joseph. I wasn’t just going to let you fall. Just... Just don’t count on me always being there.” Sebastian warned, walking off towards the next very dangerous area where they were probably going to be killed. 

 

A normal day in this hellhole then.

 

* * *

 

Sebastian pulled on his arm, guiding him through corridors as Joseph’s mind swam. Ruvik pulled and pulled on his vision, and his stomach was bubbling with hopelessness. He was a danger to Seb - he couldn't fight back against Ruvik and the man’s abilities, leaving him open to turn again. 

 

“We can’t keep on going together. It’s too dangerous.” Joseph pleaded as Sebastian paused at yet another trap, watching Sebastian's shoulders rise and fall as blood soaked hands leave delicate fingerprints on the traps mechanism. 

 

“I’ve already turned once - who says I won’t again Sebastian?” He keeps ignoring Joseph, a trait he’s far too familiar with but fully frustrated with on a good day, and this is far from one.

 

“I could kill you. You might not stop me next time.”

 

Sebastian spins at that, clutching his arm to halt the blood his amber eyes are  _ ablaze _ . “I’m not leaving my partner - He’s trying to get into our heads so we  _ have to  _ defend ourselves.”

 

_ “Use your brain - come up with an insult. Defend yourself. Don't let them get into your head like that.” _

 

“We can’t trust each other. You  _ know  _ that Seb…”

 

“I’m not leaving you-”

 

“You’ve done it before.”

 

“ _ He _ did it before - definitely not me. I’m not leaving in here alone. Come on” Seb grabs his arm and drags him through the maze of corridors and Joseph doesn't have the energy to fight him.

 

After, he wishes he had. After, when Kidman (Juil  _ no _ ) shoots him and he sees red and Sebastian, he sees him running and he knows that this time  _ he’s too late i'm sorry Sev Seb whatever you are times up. _

 

* * *

 

It only after STEM, after Mobius pulled him away into a new life on the other side of the planet where Seb could never find him he  _ understands _ what happened… Everyone knew that as soon as your angel stopped visiting you they had taught you everything you need to know but that wasn't what had happened with Joseph.

 

Sev had left for a far greater purpose and lesson, one seemingly as fleeting as the flakes falling around into the abyss that was his new home, an unpronounceable town landlocked in the middle of a forgotten country… There was no way he could ever reach Sebastian again. 

  
Joseph was ready for it however - Sev’s last  _ gift _ echoing in his ears and heart where for 10 years he was alone. 10 years without his angel, without  _ Seb _ , a lesson worth remembering. The final one where he had had to learn to live without any version of Sebastian Castellanos in his life, guiding him or watching his back.

**Author's Note:**

> What did you guys think? I really appreciate comments and kudos!
> 
> Also at the end Joseph is now in the first place in the world I could think of that there was no way in hell anyone would look for him there and that is Taihape, New Zealand is a depressing little town who has no redeeming factors and its a running joke in my family that its the best place to hide out while still being in the first world. Sorry Joe Joe!
> 
> As usual you can find me on [tumblr](https://not-a-mimic.tumblr.com) if you guys want to! I'm much more active over there than here, but at this point it wouldn't be hard to be.


End file.
